Alolan Husbands and How to Catch Them
Traveling to the Alola region? Check out this handy guide to the best husband material available there!
Although regions may be vastly different and far apart, there is a universal concept that ties them all together. That concept is known as Grand Husbandry. Grand Husbandry is an art form that dates back to ancient times, and is thought to have originated in Unova when people realized just how dashing the founding brothers were. To this day, Grand Husbandry is practiced all across the world, generating all sorts of husbands—wonderful men with qualities which make them prime candidates for serious involvement—for the people of our earth to enjoy.
Trainers may find themselves journeying to Alola for the first time, as it’s currently in the prime tourist season. For such Trainers, think of this as your travel guide to the Alola region and its many sights and attractions!
It is no small feat to qualify as Good Husband Material under the laws governing Grand Husbandry. However, contrary to popular belief, these rules act more as guidelines, and are not as strict as most make them out to be.
The first qualification involves appearance. But it is nothing so specific as “being ripped”—although, being ripped certainly isn’t a point against anyone. The key to maintaining a good appearance under the rules of Grand Husbandry is to work with your natural appearance and keep good hygiene. These rules allow anyone, short or tall, thick or thin, shredded or lean, to be attractive enough to qualify as a Good Husband.
The next and final qualification involves attitude. Some men may be a bit more “rough around the edges” than others, but the key factor to a good attitude is respect. A Good Husband, above all, is respectful. If a man is not respectful, he is not a Good Husband. These are the primary rules of Grand Husbandry.
In Alola, like in other regions, there are Trainers who associate closely with a class, and as such, their appearances are indistinguishable from one-another in the same class. These are the Trainers you will find most often as you travel, so make sure you keep a close eye out and not overlook anyone simply because they look similar to someone you’ve seen before!
The first Trainers to look out for are the Punk Guys (pictured to the left). They stand out with their black-and-white clothing and blue hair. For readers looking for a bit of a “bad boy,” Punk Guys are great options! Their high-and-mighty attitude combined with their easy-to-crush teams make for a mix that gives them a cute charm. But a word of caution: Punk Guys are similar in appearance to Team Skull Grunts (pictured to the right), but they are not the same class! In general, Team Skull Grunts are too incompetent, and add unnecessary accessories which dampen their fashion presentation, to qualify as Good Husbands. For anyone on the lookout for Punk Guys, Team Skull Grunts should definitely be avoided. A quick way to know if you’re dealing with a Punk Guy versus a Team Skull Grunt is that Team Skull Grunts expend most of their energy making unnecessary, foolish hand and arm gestures for no reason. Punk Guys, on the other hand, are much more intelligent, and save themselves the embarrassment of being seen walking around like a total buffoon.
Ace Trainers are another quality Trainer class found across Alola. Not only are they cute and determined—a very appealing combo—but they are among some of the best Trainers you will face!
They can be found in various places across the region, but especially in areas which are known to be unforgiving to those who pass through. Make sure your team is well-prepared before facing one, as defeating Ace Trainers in battle is the best-known way to impress them! For anyone searching for a man who is both cute and competent, Ace Trainers are a solid choice!
If strong, defined features and a sense of civic duty sound up your alley, then Firefighters are the Trainers for you! Serious when they need to be, but able to sport a gentle, caring smile otherwise, Firefighters are perfectly-suited to care for you. There is one catch, however: there is only one Firefighter in all of Alola! Like an elusive Legendary Pokémon, you’ll need to be fast and strategic if you want to catch him. If you’re interested, you can find Firefighter Alex on Route 10, which is on Ula’ula Island. Make sure you take some time to strike up a conversation with this handsome, heroic young man, and thank him for the great deeds he’s done for Alola!
In the artificial island of Aether Paradise, as well as other minor locations across Alola, you’ll find Aether Foundation Employees. Similar to Punk Guys, Aether Foundation Employees think they’re hot stuff, but are easy to swat out and get adorably upset when you do so. If you’re into men with a slimmer figure, spiky hair, and enticing facial expressions, seek out a location owned by Aether Foundation—you’ll surely come across an employee or two! You may even be lucky enough to get a multi-battle with a pair of them.
The final Trainer class to be on the lookout for are the male Swimmers. These men can be found on Alola’s numerous beaches or enjoying a nice swim in Alola’s calm waters. They manage to keep their hair and beards in more than acceptable condition while also maintaining a healthy and appealing body shape. Their well-fitting swim trunks don’t have pockets, so it’s a secret where they keep their prize money or Poké Balls—making Swimmers an exciting mix of handsome and mysterious! Swimmers are quite the sight to behold, and it is highly recommended that you check them out and maybe even engage a few in battle. You never know what hidden treasures you might find!
Before moving on to the main event, we have some honorable mentions to get through. These are men who, while charming in their own way, lack crucial elements which prevent them from being the best husbands Alola offers. They can still provide sufficient husbandry, however, if the features they do possess are up your alley!
Hau is a boy full of smiles and twice as full of malasadas. Energetic and adorable, this young Trainer is sure to brighten your day whenever you see him. He isn’t quite Good Husband material, however, because, quite frankly, he is 11.
If you, my dear reader, are close to Hau in age, it’s perfectly fine to appreciate the Good Husbands of the world, but you are far too young to be seriously pursuing them. If you are older in age, then it goes without saying, you should be targeting husbands within your age group. So while Hau isn’t quite Good Husband material just yet, it shouldn’t be hard to imagine him achieving this title in the future!
(Note: Please look forward to our next guide, “Top Trainer Sons,” in which we will list adorable little Trainers like Hau who you will totally want to adopt!)
Kiawe is an Alolan Trial Captain, specializing in Fire-Types and practitioner of traditional dance. He is young, handsome, and shirtless, three very positive traits. What makes him fall just short of Good Husband material is his rather questionable decision of opening up to and battling only those who exist in a universe where the sun is out in the daytime and the moon at night. Alternate universes have been a rough obstacle for husbandologists for some time now, and men like Kiawe are why. If you’re in a universe where the moon is out during the day and the sun at night, you will never get to know Kiawe outside of his Trial, effectively snuffing out his flame.
But if you’re one of those who exists in a world where the day is filled with sunlight, maybe you should visit Kiawe’s home after completing the Island Challenge! You may find Kiawe to be the fiery spirit you’ve been looking for.
Our next honorable mention goes to the police officer and Island Kahuna, Nanu. He may not be young, but he sports the grayed and mature look that garners a lot of appeal. He is a police officer, which is definitely a plus to many people for a variety of reasons. And on top of that, he specializes in Dark-Type Pokémon, which have been proven time and again to be The Best Type. As a Dark-Type-specializing police officer, you’d think there’d be lots of excitement to be had with Nanu. But quite frankly, he’s about as disinterested in everything and anything as it gets. He looks like he’d rather fall listlessly into a river than engage in any sort of human interaction.
This behavior definitely works against Nanu’s appeal, but some people may be into that kind of thing. Especially for those who prefer men who will give them their space, a trip to Ula’ula Island to seek out Nanu may be in order. Just don’t bother going out of your way to get his attention by causing a ruckus—you’re more likely to catch the attention of the undesirable Team Skull Grunts than Nanu’s.
The final honorable mention is Alola’s regional professor, Kukui. At first glance he may seem like Good Husband material: nice hair, shirtless, jovial, and intelligent. But there’s a huge catch—he’s already married! How can you be a Good Husband to others if you’re already an Actual Husband to someone? While his appearance is certainly appealing, and he has a friendly and outgoing attitude, his marital status ruins any chance of him being a Good Husband—now he can only be a good husband to his wife.
The Best Husbands of Alola!
If you partake in the Island Challenge, you’ll surely come across Ilima. It’s easy to see why he is dubbed “Prince of the Trainer’s School,” with a gentle delicateness that seems to permeate his entire being. His appearance is subdued but welcoming, opting to wear browns and beiges that not only reflect his preference for Normal-Types, but also nicely complements his natural skin color and pretty pink hair. He certainly knows how to present himself!
What’s interesting about Ilima is that despite showcasing a calm, regal demeanor, in battle he acts completely differently. He leans forward eagerly, in a pose that, in all honesty, is not very flattering. But Ilima is still his adorable self, and his excitedness gives him an added boyish charm. He can’t help being excited for something he’s passionate about, and with how nicely he keeps his appearance, who can blame him for being himself in the heat of battle?
Ilima can be found in Hau’oli City on Melemele Island. You can visit him in his home on the edge of town, and if you manage to catch his interest in either the Trainer’s School or in the Island Trial, he may invite you into his room and gift you an Everstone! He’s just as kind as he is cute. Even modern technology thinks of him as a heartthrob, so you better be fast to snatch him before our A.I. overlords do!
Gladion is a mysterious young man with sleek blonde hair and piercing green eyes. He has a rather strange habit of covering his eye with his hand, even though it’s already covered by his hair. This is probably because he is still going through his edgey-middle-schooler-phase. Still, his appearance and demeanor are cute, and he does a poor job of hiding that he’s a caring, considerate person.
If cute, wannabe bad boys are just your type, Gladion is a great choice for you! It was said he could be found all around Alola, but lately he spends a lot of time in the artificial island of Aether Paradise. It’s recommended that you prepare a strong team, as dominating him in battle will likely impress and encourage him to try and challenge you again.
Unlike his unfashionable underlings, Guzma has a strong sense of style and knows the kind of image he wants to portray. Everything from his attire to his speaking mannerisms to his hunched-over stance works cohesively to deliver his message: that Guzma’s one bad dude!
At first glance, Guzma may not seem like the most respectful guy out there. But knock around his Bug-focused team a few times, and even Guzma won’t be able to deny your strength. Once you unlock his more sensible side, Guzma becomes a husband-force to be reckoned with.
There’s definitely something very appealing about a Good Husband who is so cruel as to allow and even encourage his underlings to dress and act in the embarrassing manner of the Team Skull Grunts. For Trainers who are into “bad boys” and are looking for someone a step up from the Punk Guys, be on the lookout for Guzma. Lately he hangs around Route 2 and looks for Trainers to battle on the Hau’oli City beachfront—a great opportunity to start beating him down and show him exactly who’s the Boss!
In Alola you will find two more Good Husbands, but they are a bit different from those we’ve just discussed. They do not originate from Alola, and instead have traveled there to share their Good Husbandry with the world.
Grimsley hails from Unova. He is a gambler who trains Pokémon of The Best Type, Dark—and he’s good at it, too, because he’s actually a part of the region’s esteemed Elite Four. While it’s not completely clear why Grimsley decided to visit Alola of all places, it is still nothing short of a blessing. He was already Good Husband material before, but he has now transcended. Keeping a fashionable flowing scarf while changing into a lovely kimono allows for enough similarity with his previous appearance for a sense of consistency, while offering a new, attractive look overall. His black-and-white color scheme is sleek, simple, attractive, and conveys his specialization in Dark-Types (and is perhaps even a little reminiscent of his home region!). He has aged since Trainers last met him in Unova, and his graying hair adds an extra element of maturity that works in his favor.
In terms of behavior, he is just as mysterious and intent on drawing gambling parallels as before, but he is also much more willing to get involved. Trainers seeking him out should try looking along Route 15, on Ula’ula Island, where locals claim he visits. He seems to think it’s a “sad” place, but still he frequents it, and helps assign the fast-paced Sharpedo to people’s Ride Pagers. It’s definitely in your best interests to seek out this traveling gambler!
Husbandologists and avid followers of Grand Husbandry will surely recognize Colress, one member of the Grand Husband Trinity. This ex-Team Plasma Boss has greatly changed since his evil-team-leader days: instead of his mechanical stare and sinister grin, he gives a gentle smile and helps those he sees as he travels in pursuit of more knowledge regarding his primary field of study. If it wasn’t for his signature hairstyle and glasses, he would likely be unrecognizable.
Colress’s visit to Alola acts as a reminder of why he is considered part of the revered Grand Husband Trinity: he is handsome, intelligent, and determined. His ruthless but open-to-improvement demeanor has developed into the kind-hearted mannerisms we see from him now in Alola—and it was all for the sake of science!
Colress has been seen every so often on Akala Island’s Route 8, within the vicinity of the Aether Foundation building. He does not appear to have any sort of connection to it, however. Be sure to stop by whenever you get the chance for your opportunity to cross paths with one of the world’s best Husbands!
The Grand Husband Trinity
To those new to Grand Husbandry and husbandology, the Grand Husband Trinity consist of the three Greatest Husbands to grace our planet: Colress, Augustine Sycamore, and N Harmonia. While Sycamore and N show no records of visiting Alola, it is a fairly big deal for the region to welcome Colress, even if it’s for a short while.
Alola, and Alola!
Trainers visiting Alola will find there are a myriad of husbands at their disposal. Whether you’re into weaklings you can easily crush, or fancy yourself a more competent man, there’s bound to be someone for you. Make sure you take the time to plan your trip to allow yourself to see all the husbands Alola has to offer! We all wish you the safest travels and best success in the region of Alola!
Edited by bobandbill, gimmepie, Z25, Cooler, 5qwerty