Opinions and Stories

Arceus – Our One True Lord and Saviour

Join us as we worship our many-Plated majestic horse overlord!


Or whatever it is those fanatical weirdos shout to the sky, I don’t know I’m just here for the free food.

So I’m at the Church of Arceus based on Ransei and I have to say, this is a very bizarre place. Everyone is dressed in white and gold, they’re carrying these weird multi-coloured tablets and whatnot. I had the, er “pleasure”, of being given a lowdown on just what Arceus is and again, this was very bizarre! I’ll attempt to recreate exactly what was painted to me…

So the legend goes that Arceus was born from an egg and then shaped the worlds of Sinnoh and Ransei as we know it, along with the universe and Pokémon as a whole. Well firstly… can’t be the master of the universe if something created it, right? Either way, I guess that making continents is no mean feat. Going into further detail, it was said that it did this using over 1,000 arms. For something that small I’m not even sure where you could fit 10 arms let alone 1,000, but I guess a legend is a legend for a reason.

Considering it’s the ruler of all things Pokémon, it doesn’t even control all of the Legendary Pokémon. Instead it controls six Pokémon: Dialga, Giratina, Palkia, Mesprit, Azelf and Uxie. That’s right, an entire six Legendary Pokémon. Incredible. Truly astounding.

As for how it looks… I wouldn’t say overly majestic or godly, to be brutally honest. Essentially someone saw a horse partway stuck in a fence, decided to add some fanciful parts to it and colour it white/gold and voila, supreme ruler of the universe! Sure, with each Plate/Z-Crystal it holds it can change its appearance slightly, but all this does is equate Arceus (supreme ruler of the universe!) to an RGB light, flickering a change of colour when the item we give it changes.

The supposed “majesty” of Arceus, when in fact it just looks like it’s trapped in a golden fence. Classy.

It has the power to bring back anything that is destroyed, as seen when it brings back powerful Pokémon such as Dialga and Palkia back. So with such power, how come when I pray to Arceus I don’t just receive Pokémon that crush every trainer I see in Sinnoh? What about the Burned Tower that was destroyed by Ho-oh, just going to leave that there too? What kind of God is this, anyway.

So sure, accept Arceus as your one true lord and saviour if you have literally no other options left. This Pokémon is a phony at best a- hey, where are you taking me?! Who are you and what do you w-


Edited by bobandbill.