Greetings! The name’s Blaine. I’m the self-professed Quiz Master and Gym Leader of Cinnabar Island. If you don’t believe me, check my Gym’s sign! Anywho, I’m starting my own humble column here to give you readers some facts that aren’t commonly known about the Pokémon world. Frankly, some of you need educating! Too many people have kept failing the quiz questions I had set up at my Gym. It’s no use being good at battling; you need some brains as well to be a hot shot Gym Leader like me!
…But I digress. It just burns me up a little, is all. Today I’ll give you some interesting facts about a Non-Playable Character (NPC) within Viridian City. I’m sure you all met him once in your adventures within Kanto…
Yes, he’s the, uh, ‘helpful’ tutorial fellow. Those who played the original games will recall him lying on the ground, blocking your way north. A classic example of a roadblock… well, actually, kind of a unique example! I don’t know how often you meet an old guy lying in the middle of the road, yelling at you to get off his property like that. It’s an all too frequent occurrence with this man however, especially for that young lass over there. Brave soul – she just smiles it off and exclaims that her grandpa hasn’t had his coffee yet, is all. He also tells you something along those lines, even in Pokémon Yellow or the fancier Pokémon FireRed and LeafGreen games.
But you may have been a young kid when you first met him. Well, it’s time you learnt the truth, in case you didn’t realise from the smell of the old geezer. That’s not coffee he’s been drinking.
In fact, he wasn’t grumpy about not drinking something in the first place. You see, in the Japanese versions of the games, he’s actually drunk! Drunker than a horde of Spinda! And the Japanese versions are the ones that came out first. Take these translations for example:
The guy lies about it for years, but I assure you he’s still as drunk as ever! It makes sense too when you think about it. The guy can’t catch a dang Weedle. A Weedle! And that’s when he was trying to teach you how to catch Pokémon. That plan went to ashes, let me tell you! Sure, he could be inept… or he could be drunk on the job.
And let’s not forget that him lying around in the dirt, screeching at the world, fits a drunkard better than someone having caffeine withdrawal symptoms! I mean, sure, I know a few people who are hooked to the stuff, with their fifteen lattes a day, but I don’t think anyone suffering a lack of coffee has done that. But drunk people getting lost and yelling at things? Heck, even – uh, my friends have done that. Yes.
…Oh, why isn’t he drunk in the English games, you ask? Well, see, some people thought it was best to hide the truth from you youngsters, I suppose. Important people look at games and movies and books before they’re released to different countries, and sometimes they censor things. Something about inappropriate themes and game ratings, so I’ve heard. You can’t expect the whole world to be happy-go-lucky though! Especially when you’re travelling around the country gathering fire-breathing creatures to fight other people with.
Anyway, that concludes my little fact! I’ll be back with more entries, you can be sure about that. I hope you learnt something new, and if you didn’t, give my Gym’s quiz a try. Just don’t forget your Burn Heals!
Edited by Astinus, curiousnathan and Jake.